Posted by: chibotaichi | May 31, 2012

The Ratio in This Recipe

At some point along the teaching journey, I declared that for every two classes I teach, I ought to attend one. This worked out great for a long time. I taught two classes per week and attended one every wednesday night.

Then I picked up another class, so it seemed my ratio would get a little goofed up, but as it turned out, there was another class right after this new one that I could attend, and to top it off, the instructor is great!

Then I picked up another class, and at this point the ratio was back to my original intent. All is grand.

Lately, however, I have been covering that original wednesday class, as well as filling in for the other class I usually just attend…and I must say, it has wiped me out!

I still get great joy out of this work, and I know I am laughably lucky to be doing this, but waking up wednesday morning I was totally burned out. Fortunately somebody else covered the wednesday night class (not that I couldn’t use the extra money) and a long-term instructor is almost set, supposedly.

Today I allowed my body to mostly just lounge around. I did one forward bend and that was about it as far as an intent to practice anything physical. The rest felt great. I drank tea and read from one of the many books I am immersed in. Pretty refreshing stuff! Tommorrow I will teach and I hope to bring that revitalized feeling to class. I think the feeling of being burnt-out is temporary; just the result of not watching that ratio I set at the outset of this adventure.

I think it was just the lesson I needed really, this feeling. And it also goes to show just how much I know, or knew rather, coming in to this Thing. That is what I am about more than any physical or mental aspect of any mind-body practice; intimate knowledge of the Self. It isn’t just a matter of “do I need to push myself today, or rest?” it is a matter of “to what degree do I need to push myself?”. Deciding What we need isn’t necessarily that difficult, the tricky part is acknowledging HowMuch! Hmm…


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