Posted by: kgnarlym | February 7, 2015

Chasing Down What I Desire

That title is funny to me because it’s a lyric in a song I wrote.

It’s a little less funny to me because I’ve begun getting a little more real about my Desires.

Danielle LaPorte suggests that we take stock of how we want to feel, and to place those feelings that we seek at the center of our choices and actions. Any goal we might have, or achievement we seek, is really a quest for a feeling we believe, or hope, or just faintly think, might come along with the attainment of that goal or achievement.

If we think getting a promotion will make us happy, we’ll run ourselves ragged in pursuit of that promotion. However, if happiness is the real goal, and we find that painting makes us happy, then the promotion is really rather irrelevant insofar as happiness is concerned.

Brilhante!

Since becoming hip to this theory, I’ve been jotting down how I want to feel in various areas of my Life, as well as in general. The very first list I drafted up was pretty lengthy, but also fairly thorough.

I decided to try making another list, this time with the intention of keeping it very small. Come up with just four, was the plan.

What I noticed with the very first two entries, was that the feelings I wrote down were dependent on other people.

Uh Oh.

It was interesting food for thought, and a perfect appetizer.

I think that with more context, with the benefit of aiming these feelings/goals at a specific avenue of experience, this might be less problematic, but generally, allowing internal states to be dependent on external factors is not a particularly good idea, and may well run completely against the premise of this brilliant theory of desire.

Yet, I find it somewhat obvious too, that those feelings I am allegedly pursuing would involve others. The Truth is, for the most part, when I am alone I feel very at ease and peaceful. In moments of solitude I am typically quite content and find nothing lacking. There is no real desire.

I’ve known this about myself for as long as I can recall, that I am absolutely an Introversion specimen to behold, but I am paradoxically fascinated by, drawn toward, and enamored with other people.

I suppose what this process has demonstrated to me is that the issue is one of Balance.

If I were perpetually isolated from people I would probably have half of my deepest desires completely fulfilled!

However, the other half would be completely missing!

I’ve only just begun to explore LaPorte’s ideas and methods, so I’m sure some of what I am fumbling through right here before your eyes will be sorted out and straightened up, but I am already being granted the luxury of deeper understanding of myself, and that feels pretty good!

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