Posted by: kgnarlym | September 24, 2015

I Like Pop Music Too

I love stripped down, simple, Singer-Songwriter music… something about the starkness of it all.

Three chords and the Truth.

Or sometimes a sprawling Epic, sing me a Story.

but

the fullness of modern Pop production is enthralling.

The precision of perfect pitches playing with percussive polyphony

Please

The DigitalDimension

a new destination

Find the best of both Worlds

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Posted by: kgnarlym | September 7, 2015

Noticing Things, Not Evaluating

Impartial Observation skills can be maddening to those around you when it’s your M.O. but I find a lot of opportunity for mental engagement where others miss out.

In staying at two different Resort/Casino destinations the past few days, I became fascinating with the outwardly-apparent ways these businesses invest their resources.

A nice flatscreen television with a generous programming lineup; a shower-head with multiple spray patterns; a world-class golf course…

or maybe cut a few corners on the golf course; install smaller televisions; but bring the cost of a stay down by half.

There is a lot of room for simply being interested in things when we are able to shed our tendencies toward evaluation and judgment!

Posted by: kgnarlym | July 27, 2015

Give Me Money

I know it to be a somewhat immature way to think, but I like to believe a little Wishful-Thinking never hurt anybody too bad.

I keep coming around to this Fantasy of being hilariously rich.

I’m wired to appreciate The Grind and such, but I know what I would be doing if I had no need to concern myself with earning money.

Not surprisingly, it’s the same stuff I’m doing anyhow, but it would be nice to throw myself into it all with full force and freedom.

For Now, I just keep Swimming/Climbing.

Hashtag:GoatFishproblems

Posted by: kgnarlym | June 28, 2015

Now Leaving: FunkTown

I’ve been in a funk, and not the Good and Groovy kind!

It’s been months, but fortunately, those months haven’t been brutal.

Back-in-the-Day I went through a pretty deep depression and I’ve realized ever since I put it behind me how much of a gift it was. It wasn’t fun at the time. I wouldn’t actually wish it on anybody, but you can learn an awful lot in the dark.

Ever since I emerged from that, I have had a certain conviction that Life is indeed Good, even when it seems Bad.

Nothing can shake that.

When you spend significant time considering abandoning Life, but are, for whatever reason and by whatever means, convinced to stick around, you tend to get some perspective.

I was probably never going to bother with committing suicide back then because I was too apathetic and nihilistic to take the easy way out. Might as well make myself suffer, was probably the logic.

It’s a little bit funny now, because that is exactly what I did, and I think it was worth it.

Having a front-row seat to what would prove to be the death of a young man (a couple years younger than I, was he) triggered the real shift in my thinking.

The vast majority of FirstWorldProblems are a luxury. Even searing, raging, irrepressible hurt is a luxury.

It’s all in the Fine Print.

This Is Human.

In the years following that incident I had a great leveling-out of emotion. It was a relief after so many years of tumultuous existence. I came to see this as something like a reward for having gritted out those gnarly years. And I really believe that’s how it works. Sit with the Dark, hop in the pressure-cooker, burn it all away. The only way out is to dive all the way in. The happiest people are often that way because they’ve already made acquaintance with their demons.

Anyhow, I had a good run of living in that balance. A Buddhist or Stoic sense of detachment  served me well, and does to this day. Nature only needs Nurture, right?

But that balance got a big boot in the face, by the one thing that, Naturally, could do such a thing: Beautiful Women.

Haha. It’s Classic.

This. Is. Human.

There were several episodes in this saga, but the seeming-series-finale had the most impact.

I’d been afforded the chance to once again taste the crushed-chest sensation I knew so well way back when. The Dance of Full and Empty that can happen so fast you want to vomit. It was actually startlingly refreshing. I had forgotten that I was capable of feeling that way.

All that seems to have run its course however, which is a bummer in so many ways, but also just fine.

Nothing to Quit altogether about.

But for months, there was a blandness.

Plenty of Happy moments, and plenty of Sad, but everything else just seemed to be a bit off.

A lack of Inspiration.

Life was Good, but Basic.

Very recently I’ve found myself settling back into my Groove.

The Spark seems to have returned.

Music feels like Magic again.

Insight feels worthwhile.

Things are looking Up instead of Flat.

I don’t know where any of this all really leads (other than the obvious destination)

but I’mma keep rollin’ along!

Posted by: kgnarlym | June 13, 2015

Transcending Triviality

A White woman lives as a Black woman and is found out after years of advocacy work, and other achievement as a proponent of Black culture… evidently the term “transracial” has been officially coined. It is an interesting concept… I know that growing up as a minority in that whole “White America” Thang, I always felt a strong (if unreciprocated) cameraderie (sp?) with Black America. The dominant racial-narrative of the history here is Black/White (despite the equally unsettling treatment of Native Americans), and when push came to shove White was never gonna accept Yellow, anymore than Black tended to accept Yellow. I found that being able to wear a Black or White “mask” in various situations was the easiest way to navigate the social landscape…from time to time also donning the Yellow garments, of course… haha… Leading my Mind to suspect that the “Trans” Movement, with all due Respect to that specific Cause, will only have truly served its purpose if it leads to a more fundamental TRANScendence of the patterns we use to divide Humanity…. or something… 🙂

My Mind is guilty of manufacturing Rules.

Redundancy feels so Good but it is also a riotous ringing urging me to run wild.

Racing along the roads.

Revel in Novelty. The New and Confused.

Remember Running?

What a Thing

Feet feeling the Ground.

Rooting down and rebounding

basically Bouncing

just Ordinary Events

or are they uniquely Universal

An All-Encompassing

Encyclopedia Entry-

Thesaurusly-speaking, might appear as Antonymious in regard to Misanthropy.

Micro and Macro

bound by Spooky-Action

Nets and Attraction

The Chemical Reaction

Cosmic Interaction

Light Shine and Refraction

I just Roll with It

AUM!

Posted by: kgnarlym | May 16, 2015

Hey Me

Got me…

every so often, while I’m just rambling along, I figure something out about myself.

“I like bringing to light the inherent excitement of living in a world where things are happening and people are doing stuff!”

That is so true. Haha! It all makes me smile.

It’s so important to acknowledge the things we like about ourselves.

What do You like about Yourself ?

Posted by: kgnarlym | May 15, 2015

Road Ramblings

Rolling along

the rumble of rubber on road
Beams of Light pierce the Dark

Faster traffic passing in the LeftLane
Right Now

Peace

Right Now

Restless
The Joy is in the Journey

but the Destination draws us forward

Onward, on board

On this Planet
It’s All Home

Posted by: kgnarlym | May 7, 2015

A Verse

That Moment When I almost call

sudden hesitation, paused

as sorry as a constant stall

I wonder if she’d care at all… 

Posted by: kgnarlym | April 18, 2015

Tis The Season

It would seem that I have two annual phases of illness.

This week has seen me doing lots of snorking and horking, attempts at wheezing and easing something, anything please, out of my lungs and sinuses.

Just this morning I managed to move a thick, sticky, and essentially adhesive glob of goop from somewhere or another.

It may be a Changing-Seasons Thang.

My other seemingly annual adventure tends to show up near the month of November.

I think my Mind adapts to the change better than my Body, in this way.

And yet, it is absolutely my Mind, moreso than my Body, that resists and struggles with things like change in schedule or routine.

Such a funny Thing, this having a Mind and Body!

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